Wednesday, October 7, 2009

i am not a socialist


i am not a socialist.

i do not care much for anybody but myself and my immediate family, and even some of those aren't worth their salt.

i am not a socialist.

i don't share things. if i need something, i buy it, no matter what it is. i don't share gardening equipment, or rust remover, or tire gauges or anything. i own my own and don't even bother asking. if someone wants to borrow a pen, i say "what's the matter with you, socialist, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get your own damned pen."


i am not a socialist.

everything i've got, i've earned. all by myself. no help from anybody. ever.

i live alone, i own my own appliances, my own transportation, all my own tools and supplies. i don't take public transit, don't believe in it. my kids are home schooled - even private school is too socialist for me. we don't share anything. we have our own text books (i wrote them) and crayons and final exams.

i am not a socialist.

when i'm finished with my clothes, i burn them. i don't throw stuff in the trash .... those dumpster diving socialists should just get a job like i did and earn their own way in this world.

i am not a socialist. i don't share anything, and i don't ask for anything from anyone ever.

i don't rent movies, and i don't go to them. i buy them. and if the kids want to watch my movies, i tell them "go get your own movies, socialists." i don't share anything. sharing is a fundamental part of socialism, and i am not a socialist.

i'd rather all my stuff be burned to the ground than call the socialist fire department. i won't ride in an ambulance, or a cab. i think the police are way too community minded, though i appreciate that they protect me and my many possessions.

but i'm not a socialist. i have my own private security guards. i own my own doctor. and my own delivery person. i don't believe in the communist postal services.

i give to charities, for the tax breaks. i only vote for people who are not socialists, who don't share, who aren't concerned for anyone but themselves, as i am only concerned for myself.

(don't tell the wife.)

i am not a socialist.