yesterday i spent an hour and a half in a room dominated by yelling, finger-pointing, and name-calling. it was childish and greedy and selfish. the ego was ruling. a few of us sat quietly, watching, listening, while the egos raged out of control attempting to establish their dominance, their self-importance above all others. the spirit of cooperation was silenced, giving way to a quest for purely material individual gain - the right of the individual at the expense of the collective.
at one point, today, it occurred to me that the trouble with yesterday is that, although i'm actively attempting to practice ahimsa (harmlessness) and to evolve so my spirit can graciously ascend this mortal coil, i'm surrounded by a society filled with individuals who are decidedly not on a similar path.
anitya asuci duhkha anatmasu nitya suci sukha atma khyatih avidya - yoga sutra II-5, as interpreted by BKS Iyengar: mistaking the transient for the permanent, the impure for the pure, pain for pleasure, and that which is not the self for the self: all this is called lack of spiritual knowledge, avidya.
today we talked about death - not in a morbid way, but in an attempt to counter the messages we receive from a predominantly consumerist society that encourages us to deny aging and death and instead offers a superficial promise of eternal youth - if you can afford it. we shared stories of watching friends die, of near-death experiences, of childtime obsessions with death. we talked about the possibility of reincarnation, on this and possibly other planets. we agreed that there is no ultimate knowing in this area, and that it's okay to acknowledge that our feelings and beliefs about the mysterious workings of the universe will ebb and flow throughout the various phases of our lifetime or lifetimes.
klesamulah karmasayah drsta adrsta janma vedaniyah (II-12) - the accumulated imprints of past lives, rooted in afflictions, will be experienced in present and future lives.
i wonder if it's necessary, for my own spiritual growth, to endure days like yesterday. the universe does like to challenge us. do i fail if i choose to remove myself from abusive and venemous situations, rather than staying and confronting the emotions and the physical discomfort that emerges? or is my challenge to learn to walk away from exploitative and offensive situations?
drastrdrsyayoh samyogah heyahetuh (II-17) - the cause of pain is the association or identification of the seer (atma) with the seen (prakrti) and the remedy lies in their disassociation.
the questions are many, the answers .... not always simple.
