Friday, August 28, 2009

this is how i feel


(photo: from a previous (and decidedly more enjoyable) amtrak train, leaving el paso. that's mexico on the other side of the fence.)

i'm never going to travel again.

last night i got onto this amtrak train and was assigned a seat next to a large man. he seemed nice enough, at least ... he lit up when he heard i was going to be sitting/sleeping next to him, but it's not my custom to cuddle up alongside strangers on overnight trains. i learned he was leaving the train in the morning, somewhere in oregon, so i scouted out a good floor space, passed some time in the observation car and, when the conductor had taken his bag and disappeared for the evening, curled up in my sleeping bag behind the last seats at the back of the car. i've slept like this before, it's not actually a bad way to go.


i made it through the night ... fitfully, but somewhat successfully. i got an hour of sleep in here and there. i moved back to the seat i'd been assigned after the fellow had left. i'm not sure if it was attributable to him or not, but there was a distinctive smell of dirty socks circulating throughout the coach. i sprayed my aromatherapy at it, tried to ignore it, stuck essential oils up my nose and onto a hankie that i held at my nose, but there was no getting away from it. the smell of stinky wet socks permeated the place. i started to get a headache.

perhaps the observation car will be a friendly and relatively odorless place to pass the day, i thought. but after a few minutes listening to the innane conversation next to me, not in any mood to deal with mindless chatter, i attempted to find another seat somewhere in a different car. that was good until salem oregon, in the early afternoon, when i was told i'd have to move along because someone else, a new traveller, had been assigned the seat. i'd told two amtrak conductors, at this point, that the seat they'd assigned me is simply uninhabitable. they look at me as though i'm making it up, like it's somehow my fault. and there has been absolutely no effort to assign me a different seat. i'm left to wander seatless through the cabins.

i praise amtrak regularly, but this time they've pissed me off in many and diverse ways. first, why in heavens name would a woman be seated next to a large man on an overnight trip? there's something so insensitive about that i can't even begin to put it into words. secondly, why hasn't a proper seat been found for me? i've been told i can hang out in the observation car if there are no other seats. but i didn't buy a ticket for the observation car, i paid full fare to sit in a coach seat.

there's one bright light on this train, and that's aaron (or erin) downstairs in the snack bar. i made regular trips there for water for my tea, and he was always able to put a smile on my (and, it seems everyone else's) gob.

but still, i really think this will be my last travel adventure for a long time. i love cuba, i love visiting my friends, seeing new and different places, but i'm just not enamoured with these excited states of amnesia and their groping body guards and their uncaring amtrak officials. besides, it's expensive. and some of them carry guns to town meetings to talk about health care.

next year i guess i'll cheer the pastors for peace and their annual pilgrimage to cuba from the sidelines. no doubt i'll wish i could be there with them. then i'll remember the horrid moments of unnecessary intimidation and groping and discomfort and thank the heavens i live in a relatively decent place. for now.